


find happiness in misery

by lilspacecowboy



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Childhood Friends, Death??, Did someone say flashbacks?, Established Relationship, F/F, violence???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:01:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilspacecowboy/pseuds/lilspacecowboy
Summary: When President Lex Luthor starts killing off the heroes of the world, everyone is rightfully nervous especially when he won't hesitate to kill his own sister.Supergirl, who has been proclaimed dead, has to come out of hiding to save the woman she loves and hopefully put an end to the reign of Lex Luthor.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 74





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> bear with me on this one...

WASHINGTON D.C.

_ This is Nia Nal with CatCo Worldwide Media reporting live from the White House where President Lex Luthor has assassinated a journalist in the press briefing room. At this moment we don't have a name for the journalist or a clear motive from the President, but it is safe to say that the air here in Washington is  _ **_thick_ ** _ with tension. The gates outside the White House lawn are being swarmed with the press, it's like nothing I've ever seen bef- _

  
  


_ I- _

  
  


_ Are you positive? _

  
  


_...Well… _

  
  


_ I can't say that on live television _

  
  


_...Well I  _ **_can_ ** _ , but I won't  _

  
  


_ Has the family even been notified? _

  
  


**_I understand this isn't professional but I really can't say this…_ **

  
  


_... _ **_fine_ **

  
  


_ Ladies and Gentlemen, I am getting reports that the journalist who was slain here tonight was none other than C-Clark.. Clark Kent of the Daily Planet. I am also getting word that Clark Kent was… _

  
  


_ Alright, I quit _

  
  


_ I mean I quit _

  
  


_ I can't say this on live television and I  _ **_mean it_ ** _. _

  
  


_ I understand it's a CatCo exclusive but this is the wrong thing to say to people… hell,  _ **_to the world_ ** _ and you know it. _

  
  


_ Please  _ **_do_ ** _ inform Ms. Grant _

  
  


_ Well America, this is Nia Nal signing off for the last time. And when you find out why I had to quit I hope you take the information well and don't do anything rash. _

  
  


_ Be good people, treat people with kindness and compassion and don't let this terrible thing that has happened bring you down. _

XXX

NATIONAL CITY

It was a rare occurrence that Kara ever got a night off to just drink at a bar and relax, so tonight was special if not shrouded in dread.

Lena hadn't been talking to her for a week, and that's how everyone in their friend group knew it was a serious matter and had been keeping their distance while they fought and giving Kara time to compose herself.

  
  


It was innocent enough of a fight until it wasn't.

  
  


Lena wanted to move to Gotham City permanently while she opened another L-Corp division and Kara had no desire to do that. The argument expanded where both parties were screaming that the other didn't love them and Lena exiting the apartment to sleep at her office and going on a week-long business trip.

She finally got through to the CEO and got her to agree to talk to her when she came back from her trip, which was supposed to be two hours ago.

Kara had been sitting at this bar for a little over two hours wondering where her wife was.

At least the television wasn't that bad in the bar, especially compared to the other garbage bars around town that were willing to show to their patrons. It was the regular alien bar that her group frequented, and she didn't like to change patterns because some things in life should stay the same, like the bar you visit after work. But lately, they had been playing better tv than they normally do so going to the bar had been even more of a comfort.

Actually, the current programs running across the screen were pretty basic. You had sports on most of them and National City was losing on everyone, and then the normal news channels.

Slowly the screens all started sporting news channels.

  
  


“Hey M’gann, what's up with all the news?”

  
  


“Something's happening at the White House, I got a text from a friend in Washington that says I need every tv screen on these channels because this is a, and I quote, “big one””

“hmmm”

She naturally focused on the news station with Nia, her former apprentice. 

“She's such a natural up there,” she was glad Nia was getting the opportunity to report live on the news. Even if she wasn't at CatCo anymore she was happy that Nia had the talent and the charisma to impress Cat Grant enough to report live, apparently important, event.

**_buzz_ **

It was a text from Lois.

That's odd, it was a bunch of jumbled up letters

**_buzz_ **

_ Lois: Clark is dead. The kids and I are headed to the fortress. Please grab everyone and meet us there. I think you're in danger. _

“What…

What in the world.”

She tried calling her but it went straight to voicemail. She tried calling her five times and each time was met with “ _ Hey this is Lois Lane, sorry you couldn't reach me if this about a story lead or a family member please leave a message. If this is a death threat over something I've written please lose this number and never call again.” _

Finally, she refocused on the tv screen with Nia on it. She was angry, visibly angry but still trying to keep her composure.

“ _ I can't say that on live television _

  
  


_...Well I  _ **_can_ ** _ , but I won't  _

  
  


_ Has the family even been notified? _

  
  


**_I understand this isn't professional but I really can't say this…_ **

  
  


_... _ **_fine_ **

  
  


_ Ladies and Gentlemen, I am getting reports that the journalist who was slain here tonight was none other than C-Clark.. Clark Kent of the Daily Planet. I am also getting word that Clark Kent was…” _

The whole bar got blacked out except for that screen. 

  
  


He couldn't be dead right. 

  
  


This was Clark. 

  
  


This was Superman.

  
  


“Kara,”

It was M’gann.

“Kara, I'm so sorry for your loss but you need to look at the screen.”

After CatCo’s broadcast went off track every screen turned to the logo of the seal of the United States.

  
  


That feeling was back.

  
  


The feeling she'd been feeling ever since the fight from the beginning of the week. It had never truly gone away, and now it was back and stronger than ever. With that along with her sudden and awful grief, she knew something awful was about to happen.

  
  


“M’gann, why do I have to look at the screen?”

  
  


“I'm  _ so _ sorry.”

  
  


“M’gann.”

  
  


And then the loudest noise came from the screens, almost deafening the entire bar.

And  _ Lex Luthor  _ appeared on the screens.

  
  


“ _ My fellow Americans. As you may have heard tonight, I have murdered a journalist. I can understand that some of you are alarmed but just know, it was for the best.  _

  
  


_ I originally wasn't going to give you this information myself. I gave the scoop of the year to CatCo Worldwide Media and they squandered it. So that leaves me no choice, you  _ **_must_ ** _ hear the truth and I will be the one who delivers the truth. _

  
  


_ Today I killed the journalist Clark Kent. We were childhood friends and comrades. Our families were so close in fact, that his  _ **_cousin_ ** _ married my  _ **_sister_ ** _. _

  
  


_ Two years ago, a great and powerful alien invaded Earth and tried to kill most of us and keep the rest in a bottle on his ship, leaving Earth forgotten like countless other worlds he collected.  _

  
  


_ Like  _ **_Krypton_ ** _. _

  
  


_ And who else would save us besides the very people hailing from that planet? _

  
  


**_Kryptonians_ ** _.  _

  
  


_ Those  _ **_Kryptonians_ ** _ who died to protect us.  _

  
  


_ Or so we thought. _

  
  


_ I killed Clark Kent tonight with a gun loaded with a Kryptonite bullet, right between the eyes in front of the White House press room, my most trusted advisors and  _ **_my sister_ ** _.” _

  
  


Red.

  
  


That's all she could see.

  
  


“ _ I killed him with Kryptonite because that's the only thing that can kill  _ **_Kryptonians_ ** _. Because Superman and Supergirl didn't die that day. _

  
  


_ Well, they did. _

  
  


_ But their alter egos, the false identities they use to infiltrate our lives, lived for two more years to pretend to be one of us.  _

  
  
  


_ Clark Kent  _ **_was_ ** _ Superman. _

  
  
  


_ Now, my fellow Americans. Now, my fellow  _ **_humans_ ** _. I need your help to find his cousin.  _

  
  


_ Supergirl. _

  
  


**_Kara Danvers._ **

  
  


_ She married my sister and drew her farther away from me, so I am seeking revenge. _

  
  


_ Bring her to me within  _ **_one week_ ** _ and I will spare your lives because, as an incentive, National City is sitting on a cache of bombs. If disarmed… _

  
  


**_Boom._ **

  
  


_ If tampered with in any way… _

  
  


**_Boom._ **

  
  


_ When the time runs out… _

  
  


**_Boom._ **

  
  


_ And, um, Supergirl? If you need any more proof to know I’m serious…” _

  
  


Every screen then showed the terrified face of Lena Luthor,  _ her Lena,  _ tied up to a chair, gagged, with a bomb strapped to her chest.

  
  


“ **_One week.”_ **

  
  


The transmission cut out and all around her was silence.


	2. i. the beginning of it all

DANVERS HOUSE, MIDVALE - 2004

_ “Listen, I'm not saying it's going to be a disaster, but… it's probably going to be a disaster” _

_ “Well, I also don't think it's going to go that well” _

_ “Hey, I… I hope it goes good for you, but I think I'll like having the room to myself again while you hang out a farm, gross” _

_ It's been about a year since Clark had left her with the Danvers, and while it has had its challenges, she loved her new home. She had a sister, albeit a sister who sometimes didn't want her around but that's how sisters operate. They bicker, fight, slew mean things at each other and makeup in the end. That's one positive she could have one Earth. on Krypton, she would have remained an only child. She would get to help take care of and grow up beside her cousin Kal-El, but here she had a sister just like her mom had a sister and how her father had a brother. In a way, it helped her feel closer to them. _

_ “I don't understand why I'm going to a farm when Kal lives in the city.”  _

_ “Listen, I'm not particularly fond of this guy, but I'm going to assume he has a good reason. Maybe he just wants to get to know you better and a farm is better than the city” _

_ About a week ago Eliza had told her that Kal sent word that she would be spending the summer with him so they could “bond.'' She was a little more than apprehensive considering the last time she saw him was for a brief while when he dropped her off at the Danvers. And before  _ **_that_ ** _ , he was a baby in a spaceship. That, combined with Alex's extreme distaste for him, made her not entirely thrilled to be hanging out on a farm for about three months. _

_ “yeah maybe-” _

_ “Hey girls, Clarks here.” and she wasn't sure if it was the way she didn't grab her things or if her face was showing her hesitation, but all of a sudden she wrapped in Eliza's embrace moving silently to her almost as silent as her entrance to the room. “Everything is gonna be alright Kara. if you feel uncomfortable and think you want to come home, just give Jeremiah or me a ring, and we'll be right there, okay?” _

_ “Yeah, thank you Eliza.” she might have started squeezing back with more force than intended, but if she did, Eliza didn't say anything. “All right, see you guys in three months.” _

  
  


_ \----- _

_ Given that they both had superhuman abilities, she thought they would fly to Kansas, not drive in a barely functional Subaru Sumo. If anything, she thought he'd have a truck with him being raised on a farm and that being the place they were going but she was mistaken. _

_ Kara started glancing around the car for what seemed like at least the 16th time, noticing the space in the car and how space made the silence seem bigger, more deafening. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ “I can hear your thoughts” _

  
  
  


_ “... um… ah, when do I get that power?” _

_ “Well I can't actually hear your thoughts but, you're just thinking so hard over there I can tell you're thinking about something a little too much” _

_ Uncomfortable would be the word to describe this exchange. Uneasiness followed by continued silence. _

_ After about five minutes the silence broke again when Kal almost hit a deer. Abruptly the car jerked around and the beating of Kara's heart was almost as fast as it had been during many nights in the Phantom Zone. _

_ She honestly doesn't recall the car stopping and pulling over to the side of the road. She also doesn't remember Kal getting out of the car and coming to try and help her out of the car. _

_ “Hey kiddo, I think you're having a panic attack, I think you blacked out there for a bit.” he was grabbing her hands, that she also didn't realize were shaking, holding them and rubbing the backs in a soothing motion. _

_ “Hey, can you look into my eyes for me?” she hesitantly focused on his eyes. “All right now copy my breathing okay?'' She also didn't realize she was taking the shortest breaths and sometimes not even taking in air, so she started to mimic him. “Awesome, yes, just keep focusing on me and we'll get back to normal in no time.” _

_ When her breathing finally evened out she felt strange still holding his hands, but he didn't let go even though it was a light grip.  _

_ “Listen, Kara, I'm nervous. I'm nervous and guilty and-.” _

_ “Y-you don't have to feel guilty.” _

_ “But I do, I abandoned you and that's not right” _

_ “it's fine Kal-” _

_ “Kara, I know you're hurt that I left you with the Danvers. and I can't imagine how you've been feeling with losing our planet, your parents and then finding me grown-up when you were expected to take care of me. But I want to make up for it.” _

_ “You don't have to make up for anything I'm fine.” ripping her hands out of his grip. _

_ “But I do, and I am sorry. It took me a while to understand the hurtfulness of my actions and it took some beating from a lot of important people in my life, which I'm not proud of either, but I'm going to try to make this right.” _

_ And with that, he got back up and got in the driver's side and took off again. _

_ It was hours later when she finally spoke again. _

_ “Why aren't we flying?” _

_ “huh?” _

_ “That was what I was thinking about earlier. Why are we in here when we could be out there? We could already be there by now.” _

_ “Um… I wasn't sure how much you knew how to do yet and I thought the drive would be a good time to… bond, to talk to each other. I mean it's around a 24-hour drive so I just… hoped.” _

_ “oh…” _

_ and that was the end of that. _

_ \-------- _

_ Arriving at the Kent farm was a relief, mostly because she needed to escape that Subaru.  _

_ About every 30 minutes or so, Kal would try to make conversation with minimal responses from Kara. So at this point, the farm was a welcome getaway. _

_ Meeting the Kents, however, was not as much of a relief as getting out of the car. Her nerves were out of control. Walking into the house reminded her of when she first met the Danver's. Nervous beyond belief and the need for the people inside to really like her and to want her around. But just like the Danver's, she had nothing to worry about. _

_ Johnathan Kent was a stern man, you could see it in his face, but he also had a calmness about him. He shook her hand when she entered the house and offered her a small, warm smile. _

_ Martha Kent, on the other hand, was radiating happiness. She might have been the first person on earth who looked excited to meet her and have her in her house. she wrapped her up in a big hug, told her how great it was going to be this summer and started to take her up to her room. The Danver's were her family now, and she loved being with them and she knew they loved her, but Martha looked at her how she looked at Kal right from the get-go, and that made her feel special. _

_ Okay, this was why they came to the farm instead of the city. _

_ \----- _

_ Lena Luthor was probably the second person on Earth that she had ever met that was excited to meet her. _

_ About a week after they arrived at the Kent farm, Kal received a couple of visitors she was introduced to as Lex and Lena Luthor. _

_ The older Luthor was bald as the day was long, and not an ordinary bald or even a close military shave, it was … shiny, and unnaturally bald. He wore a suit that looked expensive from a distance and his cologne wafted through the breeze and she choked on it to the point it made her eyes water. His shoes were getting dirty from the dust softly blowing which started his complaining of how much he hated coming to the farm. Trusting eyes, but too trusting and that came with his uneasy smile that she would have found charming if she wasn't already skeptical of most humans she met.  _

_ Lex was Kal's best friend who was shaken by his sudden disappearance from Metropolis. So shaken, he also decided to come out to the middle of nowhere to find him.  _

_ “I went by the Planet and they said you’d “taken some time off for a family emergency," I told them to tell me what the emergency was but they wouldn't. Perry wouldn't even break at the 20 grand I threw his way so I knew it must be serious” _

_ “But really Lex, coming all the way to Smallville? You could have just called buddy.” Kal didn't want him here. Lex may be his best friend but Kal didn't want Lex to meet her. She knew it wasn't shame, she wouldn't be here at the farm if he was ashamed of her, but it might be distrust. **He didn't fully trust Lex.** _

_ “Yes, but I knew you'd feed me some bogus lie and I'd have to come out here to squeeze the truth out of you anyway. A cousin Clark? That's the big emergency, hanging out with your cousin?” _

_ Kal and Lex had left her and Lena on the porch while they assumed they were talking quietly. _

_ Lena, who when Lex shoved her towards her to speak to Kal, eyes shone with curious excitement. When she accidentally crushed the soda can she was drinking, Lena's eyes just got more curious. Every breath she took, she could tell Lena was making note of it somewhere in her mind. _

_ “So... I hear your Clark's cousin” _

_ “Yes, that I am” _

_ “Why haven't we heard of you before then?” Kal and Lex's conversation chose that moment to hit its peak volume. _

_ “....her parents died Clark?! Why are you just **now** getting to know her… I thought you were better than that…” _

_ “um, well,” Lex and Kals conversation continued to reach their ears and Lenas eyes got more apologetic. “My parents died a-and we weren't very close to this side of the family, I guess. But um, with my parents dying, it inspired  _ **_Clark_ ** _ to get to know me better.” _

_ “I'm sorry about your parents… I'm also sorry about them." nodding to the very loud boys farther away. "Mostly Lex, he can be loud sometimes. But he's right, this isn't when he should've gotten to know you, he should've been there from the beginning.' _

_ "Thank you." _

_ "You don't say a lot do you?" _

_ "It's just, I'm in a new place, and I'm trying to be cautious." _

_ "You don't have to do that with me okay? I'll convince Lex to let us stay if you want? I know we've just met but I think you need someone your age around here. And, it's really embarrassing for me to say this, but I need a friend and I think we could be good friends. Okay?" _

_ A friend. Other than Alex because she didn't count because she was her sister. Someone who wasn't Alex's friend and someone who seemed at least semi-interested in her, well her eyes hadn't left hers since she got here. _

_ "Okay. Friends." _

  
  


XXX

DEFUNCT DEO BASE, NATIONAL CITY - PRESENT DAY

“I’m telling you, that’s all I know.” They had immediately relocated to an abandoned DEO base in the desert. Alex called her and serval old DEO employees who had broken loyalty to the organization to the base so they could figure out a plan of action. Kara had taken M'gann by force from the bar because she was the only sliver of hope she had to get _any_ information.

“That’s all you know?”

“Yes! It’s not like I did anything that important, I just made sure you were focused on the screens for the whole time. That’s what I was told to do.”

“You keep saying that!” Kara slams her fists on top of the interrogation table, making the table and room shake. “I know you know more. Like, who gave you the instructions.”

“I-I don’t know”

“STOP LYING TO ME”

M’gann flew across the room from the force of the superpowered breath that escaped. Kara's fists were balled up and her breaths were labored from trying to not expel that much air again.

“I’m sorry, I-I let my emotions get the best of me.” She went over to help M’gann up who reluctantly grabbed her hand. Kara pulled her hand closer to her body and kept in a death grip, forcing M’gann close to her so she could look into her eyes.

The Martian tried to escape, but Kara's grip was too strong to even think about it. “Now tell me, who gave you those instructions.”

“His name is Ben Lockwood. We friends for a bit, until we weren’t”

“Why aren’t you friends anymore?”

“Well, when you discover someone works for Lex Luthor and he discovers you’re a Martian, the friendship kind of fizzles out.”

“And why would you take instructions from someone who you know hates you?”

“He has something valuable to me”

___

“He has J’onn”

“What?”

“You heard me, Alex, Lex has J’onn”

Everything was getting worse. Exponentially worse This was the worst possible thing. Bombs scattered across National City. A bomb that was directly on Lena’s chest and she was in Washington under the watchful eye of her genocidal brother. Her cousin was dead, like actually dead. Lex probably had his body on ice somewhere, performing experiments or just mutilating it, anything to further make him feel superior after killing him. J’onn was missing, no doubt in order to stretch her resources thin enough so that she’ll give up and turn herself over to him. 

“What are you going to do?” Alex interrupted her train of thought. The thoughts that were definitely leading her down the path of self-sacrifice.

“What are you thinking about?” Alex said, still trying to get her attention.

“Does it matter?”

“I mean of course it matters.”

“I need to give myself up”

“What are you talking about, you can’t do that. That’s the last thing Lena would want, that’s the last thing any of us would want.”

“Well you wanted to know what I was thinking about, and that’s what I was thinking about.”

“kara- were going to figure this out”

“Yeah well, I hope you're right. It’s just, a lot of problems would be solved if I just turn myself over. Lena would be safe, J’onn would be set free, and National City would no longer be sitting on an active payload.”

“But Lex would still be alive. He would have still killed your cousin. Hell! He’ll probably kill you too! Lex won’t stop at killing you and Clark. Do you think he’ll let J’onn go? He won’t because he’s an alien. And no matter what Lex Luthor hates aliens. The world is filled with aliens who would become his next target after he gets you, so don’t give up, just yet.”

The nearest uncomfortable rolling chair seemed like a relief at the moment, and the moment she sat it seemed her body had never been more grateful. She stared at the suit on her body, one she hadn’t worn in what felt like ages. It didn’t bring her confidence anymore, not even the pants because they honestly reminded her too much of Lena. 

It was the first time that she wore the suit in two years. She and Clark had promised each other that the supers would die so that they each could have more fulfilling lives. They were talking about it before Brainiac attacked, a conversation topic that seemed lightyears away for when they were a little older. But that was before they put everyone on Earth in danger. Just them being on earth alerted Brainiac's attention, wanting to capture these Kryptonians who were meant to be in his collection.

It was an easy decision to make to save the lives of billions, and she honestly thought Lex didn’t know about their identities still, but they were wrong. 

“We need to have a look at those bombs.”

“What”

“The bombs. We shouldn’t just take Luthor's word for it, we should look at them more carefully.”

“Okay, but besides that, we have nothing else to look into”

“Wrong, M’gann gave us names. Ben Lockwood. He hates aliens and works for Lex, he’s the one who told her to keep me watching Lex’s announcement and that J’onn was kidnapped. 

He has some information we need.”

“Okay, I still have a contact at NCPD, I won’t like talking to her but I don’t want to raise suspicion by running the search through our computers here. It might put a signal on our location and the last thing we need is someone coming after us.”

“Okay good, good.” 

“Anything else?”

Help, they needed help. Nia wasn't working for CatCo anymore, that much was clear from her broadcast earlier tonight, so she had the time to come and help them. And Nia likely knew where Brainy was. Having a psychic and a 12th-level intellect around would probably be a good step in the right direction.

“Yes, we need to get in contact with Nia and Brainy. First, to see if they’re safe, second to see if they will help us. We’re going to need all the help we can get.”

“Yup I’ll get right on that.”

“And Alex,”

“Yeah”

“After that, pack some things because I need to see what Lena was working on before she was abducted and if she left anything behind.” Gotham. Her new office was there and the place she was most likely abducted from. Lena was smart and clever, she most likely left a trail to follow or clues to what Lex is going to do next. She probably never got around to sharing that info due to their fight and the stubbornness that wouldn't allow her to contact Kara first.

“We’re going to Gotham”

  
  



End file.
